ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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