i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
