she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
