I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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