is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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