I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
