Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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