so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
