She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
