you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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