in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
