I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
