it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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