So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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