My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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