I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
