My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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