i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
