I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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