i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
