Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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