it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
