Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
