so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
