She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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