what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
