I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
