so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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