You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
