i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
it's great music for shaving your balls
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
