At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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