4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
