So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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