I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
