i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
