I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
