Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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