speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
