My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
