Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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