Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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