apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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