Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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