what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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