I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
