I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
