i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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