mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
