Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
