Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
